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Friday, October 2, 2020

Time: Speading up or slowing down and can we control how we react to time?

As we grow older, comments come up, "Is my Birthday coming already?" or "Christmas is when?".  I found myself watching an 'old movie' a few days ago and enjoying it I realized it was produced 40 years ago!!!  Time has gone so fast!  To save face I won't tell you when so not to embarrass myself giving away my age!  

Still I am accurately aware of aging but glad I am doing so.  Many of you are aware that I've had several serious illnesses and at those times I noted that 'time' slowed down, and the dealing and healing dragged on.  

Ask a child what he/she would like for a Birthday or a Holiday gift and they will spill out many great ideas.  Then the child will ask relatives again and again when is his/her Birthday or Holiday?  The concept of 'time' passing is too hard to comprehend when to an eight year old that particular gift giving time is an 8th of their life!

Study for a job interview or a Driver's License test, time slows down, but after a great success the days fly by and you remember that day and it has been weeks.

My mother passed in 2009, time seemed to move quickly and a couple of years later I said to family, "how long has it been she passed?"  Yet now, 10 years plus, time is slowing down as I reflect back and miss her, trying to capture old memories and trying to hear her voice again in my head.  

Time is cruel - it is always moving forward and living life with the passage of time, we gain wisdom and experience; looking back on situations with hindsight we wish we could revisit and reverse an inexperienced 'goof' to a more rewarding situation.  

Time is the subject for this article, we move through life so fast and at the end we look back and 'wish we had'.

As a counselor for over 30 years doing this work, the most asked question is, "what is in the future for me?"

Trying to live faster than time is moving to get to a result already seen 'by Nancy'.

So are we living today or in a future event?

Once many decades back I was in a car accident.  I was more a witness than the victim of this accident I knew was to be; time slowed down and to watch (and knew) this on-coming vehicle was to hit me and my passengers.  I felt that I was aware and in control of this slowed-down process.  

As the on-coming vehicle hit the cement divider flipped into the air and landed on the hood of the engineer just missing the front glass window.  

After the police arrived they asked me (as I was the driver), "How did you know how to turn the steering wheel?  Any other action and you have turned into the other vehicle instead of away from it."

I was not sure what happened for me to be able to control those moments, but after that incident I was curious and for decades quizzed over that accident and how I avoided a more severe event.  

I believe that living in the 'moment' is difficult for all of us.  To be fully awake and keen on each minute takes concentration. 

To be aware of the minutes we live and slow down to take charge, to be able to do this actually gives us more time to each minute we live.  

I also discovered that when I've done this purposely, I seem to remember those events more clearly and can recall more details.  The accident I spoke of I've not forgotten any detail to this day.

I believe this has happened to all of us at one-time-or another.  For you to experience this phenomenon again, recall when this happened in the past and feel how you experienced this action. 

You'll discover you were in a super-focus moment.  To train yourself to do this again, pick an activity that you enjoy.  While working, playing or creating in this hobby or activity, focus and pull all your vision and attention to that activity.  Become all consuming, you'll find that time slows down and the surrounding room (or location) becomes a blur or you become blind to it.

Perhaps those precious moments with family, situations of love, joy or achievement can be stretched out to intimately remember every detail and be yours for a lifetime.