Are You Dating Again?

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Relationship Issue #2 What Would You Do?

This story is about woman married and divorced once years earlier to an over-baring controlling man, she had to work two jobs to get her life back on track.

She was able to purchase a small perfect home to live.

She had been single for some time. She likes her wine and enjoys wine every evening after dinner.

Single after many years, she meets an on-and-off working man.  They hit it off right away. They date, he needs a place to live, and he asks and she accepts his moving into her house.

Off and on she calls me and asks whether this relationship will continue.

Each time we would talk she would speak of their arguments and how angry he would get. I would press what was the reason for his anger? She would say, “For many different reasons.”

Within a month she calls and says her relationship is over. Wow, really? And I ask why. She then tells me the truth, “He was now a recovering alcoholic, almost three months.” He was trying to get her to stop her drinking.

He moves out. He immediately finds another woman and moves into her house. Her heart is broken when she is told he has a new lady. She is angry and jealous and feels he betrayed her.

I asked how she found out. She has a mutual friend who relayed all info about him to her.

My client was told she must take “mandatory forced days off” each month and could not afford her bills. She loses her house to foreclosure.

A very close friend rallies around her and offers her monies for a manufactured home in a local subdivision. She now has a wonderful opportunity and a great home for a great price.   She is very happy.

A month after she moves into her house, her “Ex” calls her and says he has made a mistake.

The logical answer would be for her to tell him she is done. Easy for us, but she is in love with him. She enjoys her wine, even if she does have 2 or 3 glasses a night. She is in her mid-fifties and is entitled. She understands his need to stop drinking.

He is willing to allow her drinking, but he will not always look away. When out and about he will insist she not drink and cause him to have urges to drink.

She does not want to struggle. She wants to stop missing him.

They cannot stay away from each other.

She calls crying.  He wants to move in again.

What would you do?

Here is how this stands as of today:

They have continued to see each other just off and on for last few couple of months. She did not allow him to move into her new "beginnings",  especially since he was not in her life at the time of purchase and moving in.

They see each other very infrequently. My impression is that he will end it.