Love Triangle Case #1 – What would you do?

I received a difficult client call today and have decided to share this client's story; as this is not typical of most love-triangles I am asked to give advice on. This client has been calling me for some time as I have been  giving her survival tools through all the below difficult twists and turns.


This couple originally met as singles. She was left by her husband and He had already separated from his wife.

Her husband asked that he be given another chance, there were still children at home and she felt it would not be fair to the children to say ‘no’.  Her husband immediately moved back home.

The man reconsidering that he was not dating anyone, and that his ‘ex-wife-to-be’ was giving him ‘grief’ running his family business, also decided to move back home.

Meantime, husband that moved back home did not give up ‘girlfriend’ and was found out. Again, he moved out and filed for divorce.

My client kept getting calls from this man asking how she is going, while her husband files for divorce and the drama of dealing with the divorce and children.

They have pleasant communication and she sees him as kind and caring.

His business gets back on track and he tells Her that He and his wife tolerate each other to make the business do well.

After the divorce, my client had lost some weight and had some ‘cosmetic work done’.  She decides she is ready to date again.

Man talks to woman, before she finds a new dating partner, and proclaims undying love for her.

Fresh out of the divorce she welcomes him into her life, because man claims ‘he is in a loveless marriage’. Two years later, woman decides she wants a ‘potential relationship that will go to marriage’. She decides she prefers marriage to being single and says to the man, “When, if ever, do you plan on leaving your love-less marriage?”

He admits it will be difficult to leave because he has not set up the family business with someone else handling his wife's services and book keeping. He travels for his business, out of state often and for now cannot see his way free. He does add that he loves her and that before two more years are up he will leave his wife.

Up to this point, their on-and-off romance has lasted 5 years. She works, has no other boyfriends and sees her man once or twice a month whenever he can slip away.

She has advanced with her company, oldest of her two children has moved off to college and the youngest child has two more years of high school and eventually plans to move out. She sees her personal life shift where children kept her busy, seeing this man ever so often was good enough.

She is now 43 years old and within two years will be completely free of family responsibilities. She is thinking that a husband to share life with her is what she desires for her long-range plans.

She tells man, to be honest and give her his plans on leaving his loveless marriage. They talk, fight, cry and make-up several times over the next two years. He seems to have crisis after crisis, either travel out of state, illness of wife’s mother and then his mother. This takes up the next two years.

He proclaims love for her, calls and whispers sweet nothings, she calms down with him. She calls me to say he told her that he was ready to move out.

We are now at year 7 of this relationship. She is now 45 years old and youngest child is deciding to spend the 1st year of college at a local JC, to live at home and save money. Man tells woman, “How can I move in with you, since you still has a child at home?” Woman comes back and says, “What an apartment of your own is not good enough?” Conversation goes back and forth; she admits to him that he should get divorced before immediately moving in with her.

Year 8, promises made and broken, frustration of getting older and not seeing this man more than twice a month has left her lonely and frustrated.

She confronts him and questions him of her true role in his life. He does love her and proclaims his life lost without her. Within in a few days, text’s to her that he may never be able to be the man she wants him to be. That at this time in his life, he cannot divorce his wife and break up his business, clearly the wife’s involvement in his business would cause them to bankrupt, if he had to split it with wife.

So, what would you reply to this man if you were this woman? Remember she does love him.

Leave your comments below. I’ll let you know what this woman decides to do next, as this story is still unfolding.